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Joecephus.com - Random musings from the land of the burning river.
  • Home
  • About
    • Comment Policy
  • General
    • News
    • World
    • Science/Tech
    • Economics
    • Sports
    • The Joecephus Daily
  • Music
    • Album Reviews
    • Liberty Songs
  • Beer
    • The Weekly Pour
  • Cigar Reviews
  • WTF?
  • Politics
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Culture, Science/Tech

Sick Of Your Bad Tattoo? There Might Be A Cream For That

February 17, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments
badmeatheadarmbadink

Typical meat head tattoo

Ladies, are you a soccer-mom now and worried that Tinkerbell tramp stamp you got in college is going to cramp your style? Or guys are you a former meathead that miraculously managed to get some brain cells to start functioning and you realized that the awful tribal armband you got has to go? Well don’t fret, Alec Falkenham, a PhD from Canada may one day have the answer for you.

The current procedure for getting unwanted or embarrassing tattoos removed is to undergo expensive laser treatment that hurts way more then getting that tattoo put on ever did. Falkenham however is currently working on a new method, a “cream” that could wipe away the bad memories.

Via Dalhousie University’s Dal News:

Falkenham has come up with a different approach, one that makes use of the natural healing process that your skin activates after it’s tattooed in the first place.

When you get a tattoo, the pigment from the ink deposits into the skin where it’s then consumed by white blood cells named “macrophages.”

“Macrophages are known as the big eaters of the immune system,” says Falkenham. “They eat foreign material, like tattoo pigment, to protect the surrounding tissue.”

In the case of tattoos, two populations of macrophages react to the ink in different ways. One set of macrophages transports some of the pigment to the draining lymph nodes, removing it from the area. The other population that has “eaten” the pigment goes deeper into your skin, becomes inactive and forms the visible tattoo. Over time, the macrophages that formed the tattoo are replaced by new macrophages, which cause the tattoo to blur and fade.

Falkenham’s technology, Bisphosphonate Liposomal Tattoo Removal (BLTR), targets the macrophages that contain the pigment for removal.

“BLTR is a cream that you put on your skin,” he explains, describing how BLTR makes use of a lipid-vesicle, or liposome, that his team has created.

“When new macrophages come to remove the liposome from cells that once contained pigment, they also take the pigment with them to the lymph nodes, resulting in a fading tattoo,” says Falkenham. Read More…

1423774704975

PhD student Alec Falkenham, inventor of possible tattoo removal cream, flips through tattoo designs at Halifax’s Brass Anchor tattoo parlor. (Bruce Bottomley/Dalhousie University.)

There is no word yet when the tattoo removal cream will be approved for use and available to buy. Falkenham claims that it will be much safer then the current laser procedure, but is not yet sure how many applications of the cream will be needed to completely fade away your poor decisions.

Full disclosure, I used to have a crappy tribal armband tattoo, that has long since been covered up by a large half-sleeve dragon design.

News, WTF?

Canadian Woman, Praying For A Resurrection, Left Corpse Rotting in Bedroom For Months

December 2, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

There is religiosity, there is blind faith and then there is Kaling Wald, 50, of Hamilton, Ontario — who is just plain fucking insane. Wald’s husband Peter, 52, died in March of last year. Did she do what any grieving spouse would do, mourn the loss of her dear husband, have a funeral , grieve while holding her family together as they continue to live their lives.

PeterKailing-Van

This undated Google street view image, shows the van that Peter and Kaling Wald drove their family around in, parked outside their Hamilton, Ontario home.

No, she did none of this, because as I have previously said, she’s fucking insane.

Peter Wald suffered from diabetes and had developed a serious infection in his foot, however the devoutly religious man refused to seek medical attention and instead that “God would provide a cure.” Well the big guy upstairs was a little busy and Peter “slipped into a coma”. His devoted wife continued to sleep at his side however, after a few days she started to get a little worried when she had noticed signs of stomach bloat and rigor mortis in the corpse she had been sharing her bed with.

Mrs. Wald, being the devoted religious nut-job that she is, wrapped her dead husbands body in blakents that she secured down in duct tape, leaving his feet to stick out however. She then sealed the door and air vents up, to protect the family from the smells of rotting death coming from corpse dad. Finally she told her poor brainwashed children that if they all “prayed hard enough,” God would bring their dead father back to life.

Via The Hamilton Spectator:

On Monday, Kaling, 50, pleaded guilty to failing to notify police or the coroner that her husband had died due to a sickness that was not being treated by a doctor. It’s the first known case of its kind (involving the resurrection belief) in Canada.

The criminal charges originally laid in the case – neglect of duty regarding a dead body and offering an indignity to a body – were withdrawn and replaced with that single charge under the Coroner’s Act.

Kaling had no ill intent, all agreed. As assistant crown attorney Janet Booy put it, the devout Christian woman’s faith had “tainted and warped her better judgment.”

“We were trusting God…we thought, ‘OK Lord, you know better,” Kaling told the Spectator after court Monday, with lawyer Peter Boushy by her side. Read More…

My favorite quote from the article, is this gem from the looney Mrs. Wald, “It was unusual, yes. It was certainly not normal. And we won’t do that again…laws exist and we know that now.”

It’s fucking idiots like this woman that open up the door for dipshit atheists to blast all religious people, including the vast majority of religious people who are normal.

General

Woman Arrested For Sneaking Into U.S. In A Kayak

October 18, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments
OliviaSurianinorthborder

Olivia Suriani, 32, of Toronto, Ontario, arrested after she was caught trying to enter the U.S. illegally via a kayak.

A Canadian woman who was caught attempting to enter the U.S. Illegally from aboard a cruise ship last January, was arrested yet again recently as she tried once again to enter the country — this time via a kayak.

Via The Buffalo News:

U.S. Border Patrol agents, alerted by Niagara Regional Police that a woman was kayaking across the Niagara River from Canada toward Beaver Island State Park on Grand Island, apprehended Olivia Leigh Suriani, 32, as she approached a taxi near the park, U.S. Attorney William J. Hochul Jr. reported Wednesday.

Suriani appeared before U.S. Magistrate Judge Hugh B. Scott on a charge of illegal re-entry and is being held pending a detention hearing Friday, Hochul said. Conviction on the charge carries a maximum penalty of two years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Read More…

So she’s facing 2 years in jail and a huge fine for trying to sneak in through the Northern border, while had she attempted to enter from the Southern border she would have received welfare, free tuition, free healthcare and a slate card of Democrats to vote for in the next election.

General

Dear Canada

March 1, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

No offense to my neighbors to the North, I love me some Tim Horton’s coffee and I’m a Maple Leaf’s fan, but Ron Swanson is hilarious.

Ron-Swanson-Canada-Postage1

Ron-Swanson-Canada-Postage2

Ron-Swanson-Canada-Postage3

Ron-Swanson-Canada-Postage4

Culture, News, WTF?

Crackpipe Vending Machines Installed In Vancouver

February 9, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

I’m pretty libertarian-leaning when it comes to drug prohibition, I’m generally all for the decriminalization of vices, but come on Canada, what the fuck?

What are you going to do next, supply government-subsidized crack so crackheads don’t get ripped off by shady drug dealers?

Via CTV News:

Vancouver is the home to Canada’s first-ever crackpipe vending machines, which were installed in the city’s troubled Downtown Eastside in a bid to curb the spread of disease among drug users.

Portland Hotel Society’s Drug Users Resource Centre operates two of the machines. They dispense Pyrex crackpipes for just 25 cents.

“For us, this was about increasing access to safer inhalation supplies in the Downtown Eastside,” Kailin See, director of the DURC, told CTV Vancouver.

She said the pipes are very durable and less likely to chip and cut drug users’ mouths, which helps stop the spread communicable diseases including HIV and hepatitis C.

The vending machines are part of a harm-reduction strategy introduced by InSite, North America’s only medically supervised safe injection site. InSite is located in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside which is considered Canada’s “poorest postal code.” Read More…

Science/Tech, WTF?

Former Canadian Defense Minister Claims Aliens Have Been Visiting Earth

January 5, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

Here in America we have liberal-kook politician Dennis Kucinich who has claimed to have seen a UFO (I’m still hoping they’d come back to take him home), but our little brothers to the north have one-upped us. Paul Hellyer, Canada’s former Cold War era defense minister, not only claims to have seen a UFO, which he said, “…just looks like a star,” he also claims that aliens have been visiting Earth for thousands of years.

Paul-Hellyer-Aliens

But that’s not even the crazy part, Hellyer claims that the reason that our interstellar neighbors have not revealed themselves to us is because we have created the atomic bomb. You see E.T. Is afraid that the whole balance of the cosmos will be thrown out of whack because if we know of their existence that we may use our nuclear weapons again.

According to CNET:

Nun-ShoppingHellyer used to believe that there were between 2 and 12 different species of alien. Now, he says he’s received reports that there might be as many as 80.

What’s perhaps most interesting to our self-centered species is that some of them apparently look just like us. Indeed, he claimed that two alien ladies went to Las Vegas to shop dressed as nuns and no one was any the wiser.

Why would they be? This was Vegas. Try that in Springfield, Ill.

In case you feel you might have met one in your home town, some are tall (“Nordic blondes”), some are short (“Short Grays”), and some look like aliens in cartoons.

At this point, you’ll be worried about whether these aliens are mean-spirited. Hellyer said that only one or two species might be threatening. He didn’t mention whether they spoke Klingon.

In previous pronouncements, Hellyer has insisted that aliens know how to make us greener.

The aliens would, it seems, like to teach us better ways to live. Hellyer believes, though, that they are waiting for our consent. Moreover, they’re scared that if they revealed themselves we’d throw a conniption.

Honestly, it’s as if these aliens have never seen a single sci-fi show. We’ve been begging them to sort us out for many a year.

You’ll be wondering, though, about their technology. The aliens are “light years” ahead of us. And, apparently, “a lot of the things we use today, we got from them.”

Read More Here…

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Foul-mouthed & tattooed, ‘small l’ libertarian Lover of heavy metal, outlaw country, cigars & craft beer. Broken-hearted fan of Cleveland sports.

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