Mr. Fuck

I don’t know, if my last name was Fuck, I would totally own that shit.

Via Medicine Hat News:

What’s in a name?

For Medicine Hat College Rattlers men’s basketball forward Guilherme Carbagiale Fuck, the answer is simple: pride.

While the Brazilian basketball star’s name may stand out on paper, it’s pronounced “Foo-key” and is of German origin.

“It doesn’t mean what people think it means,” said Fuck. “In German it means fox.”

Given the fact that Fuck’s name could bring about unwanted confusion, the college initially opted to use his middle, or first-last name, Carbagiale.

“In a lot of ways, at the beginning we were just going to avoid any confusion or any potential issues, whereas now we’re at the point of, this is the guy’s name, he’s an all-Canadian. We shouldn’t be avoiding it, he’s proud of being a Rattler and we want to support him,” said Rattlers head coach Craig Price. “I think he takes great pride in his heritage, in where he comes from, and technically in what his name is.” Read More…

Except I thought “Fuchs” was the German word for fox, this guys name is just fuck. Own it dude.

Marina McCarthy, 22, was charged with possession of a controlled substance after she was caught trying to hide heroin in her lady garden.

Ladies, when are you going to learn the proper usage of your lady gardens? Hoo-has aren’t for hiding things, much-less heroin — especially when you’re pregnant.

Unfortunately for, Marina McCarthy, 22, of Gouldsboro, Pennsylvania , that was a lesson that was never taught to her. After a routine traffic stop in New Jersey, the six month pregnant woman was arrested after police discovered that she had 89 packets of heroin lodged firmly up her love canal.

I bet you that was a fun pat down.

McCarthy was arrested last Friday after pulled over in a traffic stop with her boyfriend, Dakota Dunning, 27, over a minor traffic offense. Dunning was found to have been driving under a suspended license and the vehicle was unregistered and unlicensed.

Since they were unable to come up with a plausible, or consistant story on how they were driving around in an unregistered and uninsured vehicle, combined with what the cops suspected were fresh needle track marks on Dunning’s body, made the police decide to call in the drug sniffing dogs.

That’s when things got fun.

Via NorthJersey.com:

McCarthy, who was taken to police headquarters because she had a warrant from Sparta for $1,000, had been handcuffed in the front of her body because she was six months pregnant, the captain said. When Detective James Calaski was viewing the car’s camera footage, he saw her reaching into her pants numerous times.

A female Wyckoff police officer came to Glen Rock headquarters and McCarthy retrieved the bags of heroin from her body in the bathroom in the presence of the Wyckoff officer, Miller said.

She was checked out by borough EMTs but refused to go to the hospital, he said. After being charged, she was released pending a court appearance on March 17. Read More…

More people will fill out a March Madness bracket this week, then will vote in the next election. What the fuck happened to our country?

This man’s tombstone is a testament to the American Spirit. When will we become a Nation of Wolves again and wake up to the tyranny facing us today? #Liberty #America #AmericanRevolution #SonsOfLiberty #Freedom #RevolutionaryWar #BigGov #BigGovernment #Tyranny #1776

A photo posted by Joecephus (@joecephus2000) on Mar 16, 2015 at 5:27pm PDT

I wonder how many miles she’s got on her?

Amie Carter, 31, arrested and charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs after pleasuring herself in front of a Lexus.

How I missed this story last month when it was first reported, I will never know.

Last February in Orlando, Florida, police arrested 31-year-old Amie Carter after she was found stomping naked on the hood of a Lexus that she had just finished pleasuring herself in front of — while a couple was inside the vehicle.

Now that’s a girl to bring home to Momma.

Via The Orlando Sentinel:

While atop the vehicle, Amie Carter, 31, stomped on the hood and threw a cellphone at car stopped behind the vehicle she was standing on, according to an arrest report.

Carter was arrested and taken to Orange County Jail.

She was charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs.

Officers responded to East Par Street and Formosa Avenue about 11:15 p.m. Sunday regarding a naked woman walking in traffic.

When police arrived, they saw Carter walking in the middle of Formosa Avenue. She wasn’t wearing any clothes, the report said.

“Carter appeared to be under the influence [of] a heavy unknown substance,” officers wrote in the report. “She appeared in an altered mental state, displaying extremely irrational and volatile behavior.” Read More…

According to court records obtained by the Smoking Gun, Carter’s rap sheet includes prior arrests for narcotics possession, theft, resisting arrest, burglary, drunk driving, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

I might be in love…

Gilbert Thomas Curtsinger, 45, was arrested on charges of receiving stolen property over $10,000, four counts of possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Responding to a phone tip, the Franklin County Kentucky Sheriffs Department arrested Gilbert Thomas Curtsinger, 45, after finding about $30,000 worth of Stolen Wild Turkey Bourbon sitting in barrels in his back yard.

Sounds like he was planning one hell of a party.

Via WKYT:

The large haul was the five barrels of 2008 bourbon, which were taken from Wild Turkey Distillery in Anderson County. Melton said investigators found the barrels, which are worth between $3,700 and $6,000 each, behind a storage building or shed on Curtsinger’s property.

“Obviously this is a significant amount of bourbon. It’s more than I’ve ever seen,” Sheriff Pat Melton said.

Investigators say Curtsinger worked in the loading dock area at Buffalo Trace. Melton said there is another suspect who works at Wild Turkey. He declined to name that suspect. The sheriff also would not say how they managed to steal the barrels, which weigh 500 pounds each, because it’s part of the ongoing investigation.

Melton would not connect this case — but did not rule out — the possibility that it could be tied to the October 2013 theft of tens of thousands of dollars worth of Pappy Van Winkle. In that case, the Pappy was reported stolen from the Buffalo Trace Distillery in Frankfort.

“I’m very optimistic. I said that a long time ago when this first started and I’m as optimistic now. We’re still working this case. Detectives are working and we’re following up on every lead. The more leads we get on Pappy, the more were gonna follow those up,” Sheriff Pat Melton said. Read More…

It looks like Mom knows what that noise was…

A pair of Russian bears who have been living in a cage outside of a Sochi restaurant for the past 20 years, have reportedly become addicted to alcohol and will be headed to a rehabilitation center in Romania.

According to The Big Hearts Foundation, a British-based charity, the two male bears, which have been seized from the owner of the restaurant in Sochi, have been offered a new home at a bear sanctuary outside Brasov, Romania, where officials said the animals would be treated for alcohol addiction.

Anna Kogan, founder of the Big Hearts Foundation, told the Independent the condition of the bears was “truly appalling.”

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The Big Hearts Foundation said the bears “drowned in beer” at the restaurant for 20 years, as patrons would frequently pass drinks to the animals. “There are drunken people who come to the restaurant, park their cars in front of the bears and throw things to the animals so that they get drunk and behave funnily. They are held in cages — and have been blinded by the car lights,” Kogan told The Independent.

Dzhenkis Uzaroshvili, the owner of the Sochi restaraunt and now former-owner of the bears, denies that anything was wrong with the Bears.

Dzhenkis Uzaroshvili, the former owner of the Bears stated, “It is not my concern what visitors are doing to the bears. I am not giving them’ I give them food and water and I do not to anyone because they are my property. ’understand which type of claims can be made.”

Via The UK Daily Mail:

It is thought the bears first appeared at the Patskha-Guria restaurant about 20 years ago when they were cubs.

To begin with the owner Dzheniks Uzaroshvili charged people to have their picture taken with his new pets. But as they grew older, and bigger, they were placed in a small pen.

Visitors continued to come to his restaurant to see his animal attraction and he started allowing people to give them beer and junk food for entertainment.

Mr Uzaroshvili insisted the bears were being kept in normal conditions, telling journalists: ‘Beer is good for them because they live in such a climate.’

However, a number of local people complained about the treatment and protests were held in front of the premises.

‘Nobody has ever done a normal veterinary examination of these bears,’ said one nearby resident, called Natalia. ‘They do not get proper food, they do not have clean water, and there is only a stinking liquid, consisting of a small amount of water and animals’ own urine.

‘There are also people who make fun of the poor animals. Visitors of the restaurant regularly give the bears alcoholic beverages to drink and feed them with chips, cakes and other unsuitable food.’ Read More…

I’m not normally one of those crazy “animals are better then people” types, but man would I like about five minutes alone and a Louisville Slugger in my hands with the scumbag that mistreated these poor animals.

… sleep all day, up all night.

23-year old Ashley Stabler was arrested last Monday, nothing was really notable about her arrest, but her mug shot photo is amazing. It looks like either she walked in on someone doing something ridiculously filthy or just experienced something really filthy herself.

Via The Smoking Gun:

Stabler, 23, was busted Monday afternoon for driving with a suspended license, no proof of insurance, and improper license plates.

Locked up on $600 bond, Stabler is scheduled for a court appearance tomorrow.

According to court records, Stabler was arrested in 2011 for assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, though that case was later dismissed. Stabler pleaded no contest in 2013 to a larceny charge, and she has a pending driving under suspension case. Read More…

There’s something about them Okie girls…

After a drunken argument with her boyfriend, Amber Ellis, 31, decided to try and have his sausage for breakfast.

A night of drinking almost cost a Tulsa man his penis.

This past Thursday morning police arrived at St. John’s Medical Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where a man was recovering from bite wounds to his genitalia after an argument with his girlfriend.

According to KJRH, the unnamed victim and his girlfriend, 31-year-old Amber Ellis went out drinking Wednesday night, while making their way back home they got into an argument ‘about how needy she had become.’

They continued arguing when they got home, with the victim passing out asleep on the couch.

The next morning the unnamed victim would awaken to Ellis chomping away on his sausage for breakfast.

Via The Tulsa World:

The victim said he was awakened by Ellis biting his penis before he fought her off, according to an arrest report. She then continued the attack by reportedly slamming his head into a laptop computer.

The man, who is described as an amputee, was taken to St. John Medical Center to received five stitches to close a wound at the base of his genitals and to treat injuries to his upper and lower body, police said.

Ellis is being held in lieu of $45,000 bond. Read More…

I guess you don’t want to mess with an Okie girl…

It looks like the morality police over at our moderate & westernized “allies” in Saudi Arabia have struck again. The Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice raided a private property in the city of Buraydah, arresting the men inside for “loud music and inappropriate dancing.”

The horror.

Via The UK Daily Mail:

The men were celebrating one of the group’s birthdays when police stormed the apartment they were in in the city of Buraydah in Qassim province.

Officers of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, commonly referred to as the morality police, were acting on a tip off, local media reported.

Buraydah is home to some of the kingdom’s most conservative clerics with many residents observing Wahhabism, a strict interpretation of Islam.

An unnamed official told the news website Ayn al-Youm the men were found ‘in a compromising situation’ by police.

There was cake and candles at the apartment, he added, but there were no signs the men had been drinking or cavorting with women which are both against the law.

None of the men were dressed traditionally, he said, before urging parents in the area to prevent their children from engaging in such behaviour ‘because it can lead to immorality and even homosexuality’. Read More…

I bet you if the noise complaints came from the sound of screams as the men were beating their wives, they’d have no problem with it.