This story is an example how attending college is not as important as people make it out to be, also how for the most part the bar exam is a complete waste.

Just look at the case of Kimberly Kitchen, 45, of James Creek, PA,  who actually made partner at the law firm where she worked for nearly a decade as an estate lawyer, without actually having the legal authority to do so.

Via Yahoo / The AP:

PITTSBURGH (AP) — A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced Friday.

Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law and felony records tampering.

State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh.

Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office said. She even served as president of her county bar, her lawyer said.

“She’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served,” lawyer Caroline Roberto said. “There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” Read More…

Hey people in that part of the country root for the Steelers, all you have to do is know a few big sounding words and of course they are going to think you’re a lawyer.

Kam Brock, a 32-year-old Jamaican-born rapper from Long Island, who goes by the stage name Akilah Brock, claims that she was falsely detained last year in a Harlem mental institution. Brock has filed a lawsuit at Manhattan Federal Court saying she was wrongly told she had bipolar disorder and was forced to endure eight days at the mental facility at Harlem Hospital. Amongst her claims is that she was institutionalized because she claimed that President Barack Obama follows her on twitter — a claim which is actually true.

Brock states that she she was heavily sedated by the hospital staff, she states that she only mentioned to doctors that the president follows her on Twitter to show them “the type of person I am. I’m a good person, a positive person. Obama follows positive people.”

The official @BarackObama twitter handle, which is run by Organizing For Action, follows over 640 thousand followers, including Brock’s @AkilahBrock handle.

Kam “Akilah” Brock, claims she was branded delusional for saying President Obama was a twitter follower.

Brock’s lawsuit alleges that her discharge after 8 days was made contingent on her denying that Obama followed her twitter.

Via The NY Daily News:

A “master treatment plan” from Harlem Hospital backs up the Astoria Bank worker’s story.

“Objective: Patient will verbalize the importance of education for employment and will state that Obama is not following her on Twitter,” the document reads.

It also notes “patient’s weaknesses: inability to test reality, unemployment.”

Adding insult to insanity, the hospital hit Brock with a bill of $13,637.10, she charges in her suit seeking unspecified damages.

The bizarre experience began Sept. 12, when the NYPD seized her prized 2003 BMW 325Ci in Harlem because they suspected she was high on weed, her attorney, Michael Lamonsoff, said. Cops found no marijuana but confiscated her ride anyway, he said. The NYPD declined to comment.

The following day, Brock walked into the NYPD’s Public Service Area 6 stationhouse in Harlem to retrieve her car, her suit charges.

Brock — an eccentric 32-year-old born in Jamaica with dreams of making it big in the entertainment business — admitted in an interview she was “emotional,” but insisted she in no way is an “emotionally disturbed person.”

Nevertheless, cops cuffed her and put her in an ambulance bound for the hospital, her suit charges. Read More…

While I think there might be a little bit more to this story, she looks to have a very good case. The standards for whatever reasons the NYPD determines that someone needs to be locked up in a psych ward seem to be ridiculously low.

Then again, anyone who voted for or supports Barack Obama is probably in need of at least some mental help.

Here is Brock’s latest video:

Marina McCarthy, 22, was charged with possession of a controlled substance after she was caught trying to hide heroin in her lady garden.

Ladies, when are you going to learn the proper usage of your lady gardens? Hoo-has aren’t for hiding things, much-less heroin — especially when you’re pregnant.

Unfortunately for, Marina McCarthy, 22, of Gouldsboro, Pennsylvania , that was a lesson that was never taught to her. After a routine traffic stop in New Jersey, the six month pregnant woman was arrested after police discovered that she had 89 packets of heroin lodged firmly up her love canal.

I bet you that was a fun pat down.

McCarthy was arrested last Friday after pulled over in a traffic stop with her boyfriend, Dakota Dunning, 27, over a minor traffic offense. Dunning was found to have been driving under a suspended license and the vehicle was unregistered and unlicensed.

Since they were unable to come up with a plausible, or consistant story on how they were driving around in an unregistered and uninsured vehicle, combined with what the cops suspected were fresh needle track marks on Dunning’s body, made the police decide to call in the drug sniffing dogs.

That’s when things got fun.

Via NorthJersey.com:

McCarthy, who was taken to police headquarters because she had a warrant from Sparta for $1,000, had been handcuffed in the front of her body because she was six months pregnant, the captain said. When Detective James Calaski was viewing the car’s camera footage, he saw her reaching into her pants numerous times.

A female Wyckoff police officer came to Glen Rock headquarters and McCarthy retrieved the bags of heroin from her body in the bathroom in the presence of the Wyckoff officer, Miller said.

She was checked out by borough EMTs but refused to go to the hospital, he said. After being charged, she was released pending a court appearance on March 17. Read More…

Amie Carter, 31, arrested and charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs after pleasuring herself in front of a Lexus.

How I missed this story last month when it was first reported, I will never know.

Last February in Orlando, Florida, police arrested 31-year-old Amie Carter after she was found stomping naked on the hood of a Lexus that she had just finished pleasuring herself in front of — while a couple was inside the vehicle.

Now that’s a girl to bring home to Momma.

Via The Orlando Sentinel:

While atop the vehicle, Amie Carter, 31, stomped on the hood and threw a cellphone at car stopped behind the vehicle she was standing on, according to an arrest report.

Carter was arrested and taken to Orange County Jail.

She was charged with criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs.

Officers responded to East Par Street and Formosa Avenue about 11:15 p.m. Sunday regarding a naked woman walking in traffic.

When police arrived, they saw Carter walking in the middle of Formosa Avenue. She wasn’t wearing any clothes, the report said.

“Carter appeared to be under the influence [of] a heavy unknown substance,” officers wrote in the report. “She appeared in an altered mental state, displaying extremely irrational and volatile behavior.” Read More…

According to court records obtained by the Smoking Gun, Carter’s rap sheet includes prior arrests for narcotics possession, theft, resisting arrest, burglary, drunk driving, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

I might be in love…

Gilbert Thomas Curtsinger, 45, was arrested on charges of receiving stolen property over $10,000, four counts of possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Responding to a phone tip, the Franklin County Kentucky Sheriffs Department arrested Gilbert Thomas Curtsinger, 45, after finding about $30,000 worth of Stolen Wild Turkey Bourbon sitting in barrels in his back yard.

Sounds like he was planning one hell of a party.

Via WKYT:

The large haul was the five barrels of 2008 bourbon, which were taken from Wild Turkey Distillery in Anderson County. Melton said investigators found the barrels, which are worth between $3,700 and $6,000 each, behind a storage building or shed on Curtsinger’s property.

“Obviously this is a significant amount of bourbon. It’s more than I’ve ever seen,” Sheriff Pat Melton said.

Investigators say Curtsinger worked in the loading dock area at Buffalo Trace. Melton said there is another suspect who works at Wild Turkey. He declined to name that suspect. The sheriff also would not say how they managed to steal the barrels, which weigh 500 pounds each, because it’s part of the ongoing investigation.

Melton would not connect this case — but did not rule out — the possibility that it could be tied to the October 2013 theft of tens of thousands of dollars worth of Pappy Van Winkle. In that case, the Pappy was reported stolen from the Buffalo Trace Distillery in Frankfort.

“I’m very optimistic. I said that a long time ago when this first started and I’m as optimistic now. We’re still working this case. Detectives are working and we’re following up on every lead. The more leads we get on Pappy, the more were gonna follow those up,” Sheriff Pat Melton said. Read More…

After a drunken argument with her boyfriend, Amber Ellis, 31, decided to try and have his sausage for breakfast.

A night of drinking almost cost a Tulsa man his penis.

This past Thursday morning police arrived at St. John’s Medical Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where a man was recovering from bite wounds to his genitalia after an argument with his girlfriend.

According to KJRH, the unnamed victim and his girlfriend, 31-year-old Amber Ellis went out drinking Wednesday night, while making their way back home they got into an argument ‘about how needy she had become.’

They continued arguing when they got home, with the victim passing out asleep on the couch.

The next morning the unnamed victim would awaken to Ellis chomping away on his sausage for breakfast.

Via The Tulsa World:

The victim said he was awakened by Ellis biting his penis before he fought her off, according to an arrest report. She then continued the attack by reportedly slamming his head into a laptop computer.

The man, who is described as an amputee, was taken to St. John Medical Center to received five stitches to close a wound at the base of his genitals and to treat injuries to his upper and lower body, police said.

Ellis is being held in lieu of $45,000 bond. Read More…

I guess you don’t want to mess with an Okie girl…

It looks like the morality police over at our moderate & westernized “allies” in Saudi Arabia have struck again. The Saudi Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice raided a private property in the city of Buraydah, arresting the men inside for “loud music and inappropriate dancing.”

The horror.

Via The UK Daily Mail:

The men were celebrating one of the group’s birthdays when police stormed the apartment they were in in the city of Buraydah in Qassim province.

Officers of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, commonly referred to as the morality police, were acting on a tip off, local media reported.

Buraydah is home to some of the kingdom’s most conservative clerics with many residents observing Wahhabism, a strict interpretation of Islam.

An unnamed official told the news website Ayn al-Youm the men were found ‘in a compromising situation’ by police.

There was cake and candles at the apartment, he added, but there were no signs the men had been drinking or cavorting with women which are both against the law.

None of the men were dressed traditionally, he said, before urging parents in the area to prevent their children from engaging in such behaviour ‘because it can lead to immorality and even homosexuality’. Read More…

I bet you if the noise complaints came from the sound of screams as the men were beating their wives, they’d have no problem with it.

Modern medicine, isn’t it wonderful?

Doctors in the Czech Republic have created an artificial vagina for an unidentified woman whose love canal was so narrow that she could no longer have sex. The woman suffers from an extreme case of scleroderma, an autoimmune disease that causes hard, thickened areas of skin.

She was sent to University Hospital in the town of Plzen, Czech Republic, after her gynecologist found she was so narrow it was not even possible to carry out an examination.

To try and help her condition, surgeons decided to use a technique called a Mesh Augmented Vaginal Reconstruction. The mesh that was used, came from the intestines of a pig.

Via The UK Daily Mail:

Pig tissue is often used because its genetic make up is similar to that of humans.

For over 30 years, scientists have been using pigs in a number of medical fields, including dermatology and cardiology.

Scientists have even re-grown human leg muscles using implants made of pig bladder tissue.

During surgery to treat the Czech patient, surgeons made an incision to enlarge the narrowed area.

They then used the mesh made from pig’s intestine to widen the walls of the woman’s vagina.

And following the success of the operation, the doctors now plan to publish a scientific paper on the technique.

Vladimir Kalis, head doctor of the gynaecological-obstetrical clinic at the hospital, told CEN: ‘Two years ago, the woman started to have problems during sex.

‘The illness had narrowed the vaginal entrance so much that even gynaecological examinations were not possible.’

Dr Kalis said many women suffer with the same problem – but most are too embarrassed to ask for help.

He said: ‘In the case of the patient we operated on, she had been given various medications by her gynaecologist but nothing helped, so she referred to us.’

He acknowledged that vaginal surgery was not common and was usually to performed for the opposite problem.

He added: ‘The material used is referred to as pig net.

‘Its thickness is about one millimetre.

‘Over time human tissue will be created around the net and the pig net will be absorbed by the body.’

He added that the surgery lasted about one hour and the patient left hospital after five days. Read More…

Wow, they are making everything taste like bacon these days.

Domonique Smith, 26, arrested for burglary and giving the hot beef injection to a corpse.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day here is a heartwarming story of love from Columbus, Georgia.

This past Monday, police arrested Domonique Smith, a 26 year old homeless man when he was found with a bike stolen from the Hill Watson Peoples Funeral Service in Columbus during a burglary that occurred on December 29th of last year.

Further investigation revealed that during that burglary, the body of an unnamed dead woman had been violated.

Via The Ledger-Enquirer:

Domonique Smith was arrested Monday and charged with stealing a bicycle from Hill Watson Peoples Funeral Service on Hamilton Road. During the investigation of the burglary, police say they found evidence that Smith had sex with a woman who was deceased.

Smith was served with the necrophilia charge while in the Muscogee County Jail. If convicted, the charge carries a prison sentence of one to 10 years.

He is scheduled to appear Monday morning in Columbus Recorder’s Court on the necrophilia charge.

“The investigation led us to believe he had a sexual act with the woman’s body,” Griswould said.

Griswould did not comment on the kind of sexual act Smith allegedly performed on the body. The victim was not identified, though her family has been informed of the charges and the ongoing police investigation, Griswould said.

The crime is believed to have happened between 7 p.m. Sunday and 7 a.m. Monday.

Griswould said he could not recall the last time there was a necrophilia charge in Muscogee County.

“This is extremely rare,” he said. Read More…

“This is extremely rare.” I would sure fucking hope so.

Maybe Smith is a wrestling fan and he was taking after Triple H.

Pictured are the outfits and the booze the three woman used to trick the prison guards.

In a scenario that probably would have been rejected as too unbelievable on the FOX television series Prison Break, a real-life jailbreak occurred after three woman helped facilitate the escape. The three women, who were dressed in sexy policewoman outfits, reportedly drugged the prison guards with spiked whiskey after convincing them to take part in an orgy. 28 inmates reportedly escaped.

Who could say no to whiskey and hot women?

Via The UK Daily Mail:

They arrived at around 3am on Thursday morning and asked if they could come inside to ‘chat and drink’, police say.

The prison guards obliged and were soon persuaded to leave their posts, before heading to the sleeping quarters with the scantily clad women.

After drugging and handcuffing the wardens, they took their keys and unlocked all the prison’s cells according to police chief Angelina de Andrades Ferreira.

She told a news conference: ‘The plan was to seduce them. They served them cheap whisky with some substance to knock them out, then unlocked the central gate which accesses the internal cells.

‘Whoever wanted to escape left by the front door. From the moment they drank the whisky the agents don’t remember a thing.

‘One was found dizzy, trying to wake up. Another slept for the whole afternoon and couldn’t even be questioned.’

Dozens of prisoners walked straight out the main door carrying guns and ammunition they took from the prison caches.

The inmates took three 12-calibre rifles, shotguns, two 38-calibre revolvers and munition, she said. Read More…

According to their website, “… Hatfield & McCoy Moonshine is the very first authentic mountain moonshine ever legally produced by the Hatfields and McCoys. With a taste as original as its name, our moonshine is home fermented, home distilled, and home bottled in small batches in our distillery located in the southern mountains of Gilbert, West Virginia.”

It looks like the family feud has ended and after a couple of generations, the Hatfields & McCoys have combined to form a business distilling moonshine all with the blessing of the strong arm of the government.

Via The Denver Post / AP:

Production of “Drink of the Devil” has been in full swing at a distillery on original Hatfield land, bringing batches to the nation’s store shelves using the original recipe of family patriarch William Anderson “Devil Anse” Hatfield.

Overseen by Chad Bishop, husband of Hatfield’s great-great-great granddaughter, all the work is done by hand in a converted garage on a mountainside six miles from “Devil Anse” Hatfield’s gravesite.

After going through fermentation and distilling processes at Hatfield & McCoy Moonshine, batches are bottled, corked and packaged in-house before being shipped to West Virginia, Florida, Kentucky, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

“This is as close as you’ll get to the way it was made 150 years ago,” Bishop said.

Among those lending knowledge and elbow grease to the business are Bishop’s wife, Amber, and her mother, Nancy Hatfield, the oldest living descendant of “Devil Anse.”

Ronald McCoy, a great-great grandson of McCoy patriarch Randolph “Ole Ran’l” McCoy, was a consultant for the distillery’s startup and the product’s testing and marketing. Read More…

Technically, since taxes were paid, they are making “white whiskey” and not “moonshine.”

Speaking to Germany’s Süddeutsche Zeitung, Billionaire Microsoft founder Bill Gates lamented the fact that dreams of a true United Nations Government have not come true.

Here comes more proof that you can be a billionaire genius inventor and still be a complete fucking moron. Microsoft founder Bill Gates dreams of a One World Government, you know to fight off “climate change.”

In an interview with Germany’s Süddeutsche Zeitung newspaper, Gates lamented the fact that the dreams of many liberal idiots of a true United Nations system has failed to come to fruition.

“You can make fun of it, but in truth it was sad how the conference in Copenhagen is run, how individual who behave like the UN system failed,” Gates said.

The man who brought the world Clippy, went on to pontificate that a one-world government was something that was “badly needed” in order to combat the pressing issues facing the planet.

“Take the UN, it has been created especially for the security in the world. We are ready for war, because we have taken every precaution. We have NATO, we have divisions, jeeps, trained people,” Gates said. “But what is with epidemics? How many doctors do we have as much planes, tents, what scientists? If there were such a thing as a world government, we would be better prepared.” Read More…

Fucking libtards.

Strike one up for Fairfax County Virginia, as they have nabbed another bunch of violent criminals that were doing irreparable harm to the citizens of The Commonwealth. No longer will these violent thugs be able to rip the very fabric of society to shreds and corrupt the populace by playing cards inside the privacy of an upper class home.

Via The Washington Post:

On a quiet weeknight among the stately manors of Great Falls, ten men sat around a table in the basement of a private home last November playing high stakes poker. Suddenly, masked and heavily armed SWAT team officers from the Fairfax County Police Department burst through the door, pointed their assault rifles at the players and ordered them to put their hands on the table. The players complied. Their cash was seized, including a reported $150,000 from the game’s host, and eight of the ten players were charged with the Class 3 misdemeanor of illegal gambling, punishable by a maximum fine of $500. The minimum buy-in for the game was $20,000, with re-buys allowed if you lost your first twenty grand.

This was not your everyday cash game with the neighbors. The buy-in was twice what it costs to enter the World Series of Poker’s main event in Las Vegas (though the Great Falls players did not have to pay the whole $20,000 up front). Two established poker pros were at the Great Falls table and another was hosting the game, taking a roughly 1.5 percent cut from the buy-ins to pay for two dealers and two assistants to make coffee runs or give massages to the players. “Taking a cut” is what elevates a poker game, in the minds of the Fairfax police, into a criminal enterprise. But the host has not been charged and the search warrant used to raid the house remains sealed. The host declined to comment. Read More...

My favorite quote in the Washington Post article comes from Fairfax police spokeswoman Lucy Caldwell, who said, “With these large amounts of cash involved, the risks are high. We’ve worked cases where there have been armed robberies.”

Yeah, like the one just committed by the fucking government? All is not lost however, while the strong arm of the government frowns on the violent thug who hosted the game taking a cut of the action, the State only seized 40% of the money and let the players keep the rest.

This is of course about 1000X the size of the average buy-in that I’ve played in basement poker games with friends, but this is fucking ridiculous none-the-less. The only crime that was perpetrated was the government sticking the hands where they don’t fucking belong.

I saw the image below posted on Reddit today. I don’t know what is worse, the fact that the state of education in our schools is so horrible that in 2015 America a 12-year-old student thinks that Martin Luther King Jr. “freed the slaves,” or that the idiot editor of the Citrus County Chronicle actually ran the snippet.

Fucking liberals, they control the teacher’s union and the media while conservatives go towards other types of jobs instead and this is what happens.

22-year-old Los Angeles ‘artist,’ Illma Gore say’s, “There is something absurd and beautiful about having an accumulation of absolute stranger’s names…” inked all over her body.

22-year old “artist,” Illma Gore (no relation to Al Gore, but just as crazy), has launched a Kickstarter campaign where for 10 bucks a pop she will tattoo your name or a phrase of your choosing on her body.

Via The NY Daily News:

The formerly homeless artist is the 22-year-old daughter of a once-wealthy land developer in Australia who lost everything before he died, according to KTLA.

She estimates she needs about $6,000 to cover her skin from neck to toes — barring a few spaces already inked.

As of Tuesday morning, she’d raised more than $690 from nearly two dozen backers.

“I want to be a singular tattoo for my latest art exhibition, and I want it to be your names,” she said on her fund-raising page.

“There is something absurd and beautiful about having an accumulation of absolute stranger’s names draped over my pale goth skin, even if half of them are ‘Penis Butt,'” she said. Read More…

Now, I have tattoos myself, I plan on getting more tattoos, so I do understand that it is a tad bit hypocritical of me to say this, but, this chick is fucking insane.