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Joecephus.com - Random musings from the land of the burning river.
  • Home
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    • Economics
    • Sports
    • The Joecephus Daily
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  • Cigar Reviews
  • WTF?
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Civil Liberties, News

Arizona Cop Illegally Arrests Naked Woman

July 15, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

This past March, Esmeralda Rossi, of Chandler, AZ, was in the shower when two police officer’s came knocking on her door.

“I was in the shower,” Rossi said. “My daughter came to the shower and said there are two officers at the door. So I just grabbed a towel.”

Rossi has not committed any crime, the police who arrived had not had any sort of warrant, yet the actions that occurred that night were the type of police tactics you would thing would be reserved for a violent criminal brandishing a weapon.

The police were there because they were responding to a call about an earlier argument between Rossi and her estranged husband.

Rossi, after answering the door, felt that the manor in which one of the officers approached, from the front door of her home, was very aggressive. She asked for them to wait for a moment so she could put on some clothes and get a cellphone to record their conversation.

“It made me very uncomfortable,” Rossi said. “So I closed the door. I turn to go into my living room, and I probably get about five steps in; and all of a sudden, I just hear boots running in after me, telling me stop or I’ll arrest you.”

DougRoseChandler

Doug Rose, Chandler, AZ, Police officer who falsely arrested woman. Now retired and free to receive tax-payer funded pension.

It was at this point in which Rossi’s daughter began filming the encounter.

Without any provocation, or probably cause, the two officers stormed into the her home and proceeded to assault a woman, who was wearing nothing but a towel, doing so in front of her daughter.

As the sex-offender in a badge begins to assault the victim, under the threats of an illegal arrest, her towel drops completely exposing her now naked body. That didn’t stop the bastard from attempting to assault I mean “arrest” Rossi.

Rossi was handcuffed and subdued by her attacker, but was never charged with any crime.

Because she committed no crime.

Via KNXV-TV:

After reviewing the incident, Chandler Police internal investigators determined Rose entered the home illegally and without probable cause. The investigation also determined that Rose didn’t document arresting or un-arresting the woman or the fact that she was naked.

There was also no video from his body camera for the call, records show.

After the incident, the other officer involved immediately contacted his supervisor to raise questions about Rose’s actions. The second officer was cleared of wrongdoing.

Chandler Police declined to comment, citing the potential lawsuit. Rose also didn’t respond to requests for comment. Read More…

It’s assholes like this piece of trash, that give the vast majority of good police officers a bad name. He should be charged with breaking and entering, false arrest, kidnapping and sexual assault.

However, the kicker is that the bastard retired from the force and is eligible to receive a full tax-payer funded pension.

Land of the free and home of the brave…

News

Minnesota Sheriffs Deputy Charged With Beating A Dog

June 27, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

DeputyBrettBerryA Minnesota sheriff’s deputy was charged yesterday with two counts of animal cruelty after beating his K-9 partner while attending a training and certification event.

Brett Arthur Berry, 48, has been charged with assaulting a public safety dog and animal cruelty — both which are sadly only misdemeanors. Surveillance video from Black Bear Casino Resort, the site of the training event, was used to determine probable cause.

Via The Star Tribune…

Earlier in the evening, security officers said, they had been called to the Cobalt Lounge to ask an individual, later identified as Berry, to leave the premises. According to a description of events provided by Carlton County Sheriff Chief Deputy Brian Belich, Berry was followed from the lounge and back to his hotel room by security officers taking video.

After about five minutes, Berry came out of his room with a dog — his K-9 partner.

Berry walked the dog out of the hotel to the casino parking lot, where he was observed scolding the dog and becoming upset.

Video “then shows the individual pick up his dog by the collar and throw it to the ground,” according to the Carlton County Sheriff’s Office. That’s when the dog bolted from Berry and tried to run back into the casino. The dog made it only past the first set of doors, however, and became trapped in the vestibule.

Berry allegedly caught up to the dog and struck it several times.

Berry was not arrested. He was charged with two misdemeanors after the security video was turned over to the Carlton County Attorney’s Office, Belich said. Read More…

What I would give for an aluminum baseball bat and five minutes alone with that smug fucking piece of shit.

Civil Liberties, Culture, News, Politics

Marriage & The Government

June 26, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

Today, in a 5-4 decision, the United States Supreme Court ruled that “...the right of same-sex couples to marry…is part of the liberty promised by the Fourteenth Amendment.”

In the decision, Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote:

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.

As a conservative, I have to agree with Justice Kennedy’s words. For the government to deny the rights of same-sex couples is a fundamental attack on the very principle of liberty.

Social conservatives, such as Mike Huckabee who called today’s ruling ‘judicial tyranny,’ are upset of course. I actually don’t necessarily disagree with all of Huckabee’s sentiments — mostly because I don’t believe that this issue should have even had to have been decided on by the Supreme Court.

If the religious right is upset about the Supreme Court affirming the government sanctioning of same-sex marriage they have absolutely no one to blame but themselves. They have been fighting the wrong battle this whole time.

528993_10152721002550515_1126898201_nAdvocates of ‘gay marriage’ claim that what they are fighting for is ‘equal rights,’ the right to marry the person they love. But what they are really fighting for is the right to have a previously government-sanctioned ‘privileged status’ extended to them as well.

The truth is, government does not grant marriage licenses to certify a couple’s love. The government issues permits to marry so it can designate those who qualify for the benefits attached to being in a government-sanctioned marriage.

The religious right, in their opposition to ‘gay marriage,’ claim they are fighting for ‘traditional marriage.’ True conservatives however, understand that there are certain aspects of life that should be left to be conducted solely within the confines of your own home, family, churches, synagogue or mosque. This belief if part of the fundamental core of what it means to be a conservative, yet social conservatives have abdicated that position and granted the governmental role in those matters.

The primary role of the federal government is to uphold the Constitution and to defend our rights. The act of granting the government the power to regulate the institution of marriage, takes away it’s duties in serving its primary purpose.

Conservatives should have never been fighting for foolish efforts like the idiotic ‘Defense of Marriage Act.’ Instead of focusing their time, effort and money into trying to pass laws throughout the country that offer a government-defined sanctioning of marriage — the real battle should have been to remove the government’s role from marriage altogether and to put it back where it belongs as a private matter between two individuals with each-other or two individuals with their religious community.

Not anywhere within the Constitution is their any mention about marriage. The Ninth and Tenth Amendments, clearly state that any power that is not explicitly granted to the federal government is reserved solely for the people and the states. If marriage is even to be regulated at all, it should be done so only at the local level.

One of the few true responsibilities of the government in a free society is to enforce private contracts between individuals or groups. If two consenting adults enter into a contract with one another, it is not the business of the government to deny those particular individuals the right to do so.

All conservatives, the religious-right includes should be fundamental opposed to government regulation of private matters. Sadly, it is those so-called conservatives who make up the religious right who actually advocate for more government intrusion into our lives. The religious right is blaming the desires of gay & lesbian couples as an attack on the ‘sanctity of marriage.’ All the while ignoring the real threat… the government.

Culture, News, WTF?

Frog Licking Indiana Man Arrested For Trespass

June 22, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

RichardMullins

Police in LaPorte, Indiana, reporting to a call from JJ’s Sideout Bar & Grill, totally harshed a dude’s mellow as he was just trying to have a good time while licking a toad’s backside. I mean, who hasn’t done that?

Via WNDU:

On arrival, officers observed bar security staff standing on the sidewalk with Richard Mullins, 41, of LaPorte. Mullins was barefoot and carrying his sandals.

Security staff told police that Mullins started to enter the bar and was asked for proper identification. He allegedly ignored the request and refused to speak with staff. He was advised that if he didn’t provide ID he would have to leave. After not producing anything, he was escorted outside and told to leave the property.

He proceeded to dance around in the parking lot, picked up a toad and began licking it, according to witnesses.

While police spoke with Mullins, he remained on the public sidewalk, dancing. He was warned not to return onto JJ’s property or he would be arrested. Read More…

Of course he was arrested, because a few minutes later he returned to the bar’s parking lot with another toad in hand.

News

Ohio Woman Arrested For Eating Pizza, While Driving Drunk & Naked

June 22, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

Ahh, young love.

A Northeast Ohio couple were arrested this past Saturday morning while joyriding through town in the buff.

Westlake police caught the couple after a tipster reported seeing them cavorting in the parking lot of a business park, its unknown if its the same Westlake business park that former Ohio Gubernatorial Ed Fitzgerald was caught canoodling with his Irish side piece.

westlakenakedcouple

When police found the couple, Alexandria Mauer, 24, was found easting a slice of pizza while driving naked. Her 33-year-old passenger, Kenneth Gillespie, also naked, was holding a beer can between his feet.

Via Cleveland.com:

The driver, 24-year-old Alexandria Mauer of Bay Village, is charged with suspicion of drunken driving. She refused a breath test at the Westlake Police Department.

The passenger, 33-year-old Kenneth Gillespie of Cleveland, is charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated, an open container violation and public indecency.

…

The officer determined the two were drunk and ordered them to dress before taking them into custody, according to a police report. Gillespie urinated in the backseat of the police car on the way to the police station. Read more…

Gillespie, who was already on probation for prior drug charges, decided to take a leak in the back of the police car after arrest. He was charged with disorderly conduct, open container and public indecency and was released just after 9 a.m. After being given an old pair of jail pants and shoes to wear home.

Mauer was arrested for DUI and then released shortly thereafter to a family member around 2 a.m. However, less than an hour later, she was again spotted walking down the street, this time with clothes on. According to police she got in an argument with her driver and jumped out of the car. She was again arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication.

Nanny State, News

Texas Police Raid Lemonade Stand Run By Two Little Girls

June 21, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

Last week brave and honorable government officials in Overton, TX, took down two violent criminals who were poisoning local residents by selling beverages without the proper permits.

No, that’s not what happened. Not even close.

Some government assholes shut down a lemonade stand run by two little girls who were trying to raise enough money for a Father’s Day present for their dad.

lemonadestandraidedTexas

Andria and Zoey Green, two evil business owners running an unlicensed establishment, taken down by heroic government officials.

Via KLTV:

OVERTON, TX (KLTV) – A little summer fun was spoiled by police in Overton, and state health laws. Andria and Zoey Green wanted to raise $105 for a Father’s Day present.

“We were trying to raise some money to take our dad to Splash Kingdom,” 8-year-old Andria explains.

Their mother, Sandi Evans says her daughters have an entrepreneurial spirit.

“The girls are always into making their own money,” Evans says.

The girls initially wanted to start a paper route, but decided on a lemonade stand to make money more quickly.

…

“A code enforcement officer and the chief, she called me to the side and said we needed a permit,” Sandi recalls.

The City agreed to waive the $150 fee for a ‘Peddler’s Permit,” but the health department would prove a bigger problem.

Police Chief Clyde Carter explains, “It is a lemonade stand but they also have a permit that they are required to get.”

Texas House Bill 970, or the Texas Baker’s Bill, prohibits the sale of food which requires time or temperature control to prevent spoilage. Since lemonade technically must be refrigerated to prevent the growth of bacteria, by law, the girls can not sell it without an inspection and permit. Read More…

The most asinine part of the story is that the fucking assholes who busted up the lemonade stand know that it was a pretty shitty thing to do, but they are going to keep on doing it anyways.

“We have to follow by the state health guidelines,” said Carter. “They have to have a permit if they’re going to do the lemonade stands.”

For the mental midgets out their that say ‘the police are just doing their job, they have to enforce the laws even if they are stupid.’ Here are a few stupid laws currently on the books in Texas, that I seriously doubt are enforced:

  • When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
  • It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
  • Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
  • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Police officers can, and should use discretion when choosing which laws to enforce. You’re not a good cop that’s just doing your job by shutting down a child’s lemonade stand, you are a fucking asshole.

News, World

Woman Carrying Cocaine In Breast Implants Arrested

June 20, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments
Boobs-are-to-men---meme_1

This picture has nothing to do with this story, other then boobies!

A 22-year-old woman from Honduras carrying over 3 pounds of liquid cocaine hidden inside her breast implants was arrested at the airport in Bogota, Colombia yesterday.

Paola Deyanira Sabillon, was attempting to travel to Spain when her nervousness attracted the suspicion of security.

Via The Mirror UK:

The surgery to fit the liquid cocaine implants is understood to have taken place at a clinic in Pereira, western Colombia.

Police in Pereira are trying to identify the clinic and discover how many other women have agreed to smuggle drugs the same way as human mules.

Police chief Humberto Guatibonza said: “She confessed she had drugs in breast implants and that she was going to be met in Barcelona by a group of people including a doctor who would operate on her to remove them.” Read More…

Sabillon’s fake fun bags were removed at a Bogota hospital where she is also being treated for an infection.

Culture, News, WTF?

Bar Owner Fined $500 For Fart

June 20, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

madamsorganMadam’s Organ, a popular bar and live music venue in Washington DC’s Adams Morgan neighborhood was recently fined $500. The reason?

Last year while a band was playing there, the drummer cracked open a window a bit to let out a fart.

Via Borderstan:

According to the report, an Alcohol Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA) inspector personally observed a live band playing “directly in front of one of the establishment’s ground floor windows” between 1:30 and 1:33 a.m. on June 22, 2014.

In April, Madam’s Organ General Manager Carlos Wilcox testified at an ABRA hearing that he “personally closed the windows during the performers’ first break of the night,” and that the band’s drummer “needed air and cracked a window.”

Adams Morgan owner Bill Duggan admits the drummer did crack open the window slightly. Why?

“He opened the window to let [a] fart out,” says Duggan. “He cracked it open for five minutes, then the inspector showed up.”

“Twenty f—–g years with not one violation and this is what they came up with,” Duggan says. “People get stabbed and shot in these other establishments. In ours, someone farts and cracks a window and they spend a year on it.” Read More…

The fucking government, I swear…

News

Woman Arrested After Pulling Gun Out Of Vagina

June 19, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

Girls, when are you going to learn lady gardens are not for hiding things, especially not guns. Could you imagine what might happen if the safety was off? Hoo-ha’s aren’t holsters.

JenniferMcCarthyJennifer McCarthy, 48, ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Cormac McCarthy was arrested last week after pulling a gun out of her bearded clam and pointed it at her boyfriend during an argument… about aliens.

To everyone out there with the surname McCarthty, do not name your daughters Jenny, there’s like a 99% chance she’ll end up being bat-shit insane.

Via The Albuquerque Journal:

According to a police statement filed in Magistrate Court, McCarthy’s boyfriend told a deputy responding to a disturbance that McCarthy started performing a sex act with a silver handgun, asked, “Who is crazy, you or me?” then took the gun and pointed it at his head.

The gun came into play after the couple had argued about space aliens and McCarthy left the couple’s home on Aventura Road in Santa Fe, according to the boyfriend’s account.

When she came back, she went into the bedroom and came out dressed in lingerie and with the handgun in her private parts.

The boyfriend, who was not identified in the police statement, grabbed the gun after she pointed it at his head. He said he was afraid she was going to pull the trigger.

The boyfriend went into the bathroom and put the gun in the toilet. He told the deputy that when McCarthy went to retrieve the gun, he got it himself and put it in a trash can outdoors. Read More…

McCarthy’s ex-husband Cormac McCarthy is the author of the 2005 novel No Country For Old Men.

News

Naked & Armed Carjacking Suspect Arrested

June 14, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

Naked, high on meth and hiding near railroad tracks is no way to live your life…

Via WFLA:

Pasco Sheriff’s deputies captured Kenneth Michael Brown, 30, around 1:15 a.m. Friday along the railroad track near Pattie Road in Crystal Springs. An anonymous tip helped lead detectives to the area.

Brown was still naked, likely high on meth, and had a gun, according to deputies. He was treated for minor cuts and scrapes at an area hospital and then transported to the Land O’ Lakes Detention Center.

More than 100 officers were involved in the manhunt for Brown including deputies from Pasco, Hillsborough, and Polk counties, including K9 units, teamed up to search for him Thursday in the area between State Road 39 and US 301.

Four crime scenes were established over the course of the chase and five people in total that Brown pointed guns at, Sheriff Chris Nocco said in a press conference Friday.

“There was a clear and present danger this individual was going to harm somebody,” Nocco said. “This guy was a time bomb about to explode and in our minds about to take somebody’s life.” Read More…

KennethMichaelBrownBrown’s not a very smart criminal, though most aren’t, his crime spree began two days before he was arrested as he broke into a home stealing a bag of coins and three handguns. He had apparently dropped the coins alongside the property’s fence and returned the next day to retrieve them.

Via The Tamps Sun Times:

The homeowner was home when brown returned and chased him off his property.

Brown then saw a 10-year-old boy while he was fleeing, and asked to be let into the boy’s apartment. The boy said ‘no’ and went to alert his parents but Brown attempted breaking-in anyways.

When he was unsuccessful breaking into the apartment, he ran to another apartment complex where he pulled a gun on a woman unloading groceries and stole her car.

Police say he wasn’t in the car long before he abandoned it and targeted another female driver. This time the woman gave him a ride, but she dropped him off near the woods and was left unharmed.

Brown took off into the woods, but by then, deputies were not far behind him.

Deputies were finally able to track him down near some train tracks early the morning of June 12. Brown was completely naked when police took him into custody. Investigators assume he ditched his clothes sometime during the manhunt. Read More…

Culture, News

Austrian Brothel Offers Free Sex During Tax Protest

June 14, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

0A14NIRFN5SIHKPR-fill640x320Hermann ‘Pascha’ Müller, owner of a brothel in Salzburg, Austria, is sick and tired of what the tax rates his business has been paying out, and has vowed to no longer be “the tax office’s pimp.” So what is he doing about it?

He’s giving out free sex to customers at his house of ill repute and paying the normal salaries of the working girls out of his own pocket.

Via TheLocal.at

German-born Müller told the Kronen Zeitung that he’s already had to “turn away hundreds of disappointed customers” as he has had a full house since the “summer special” went on offer.

The stunt has been great publicity for him and he says that he plans to continue it for four to eight weeks. Drinks are on the house and Müller says that he is paying the prostitutes’ usual hourly rate out of his own pocket.

“In the last decade I have paid taxes of almost €5 million,” Müller said. “The problem is, the tax office wants more and more, and they are not cracking down on illegal street and apartment prostitution.”

He said that the summer special would be offset by any profits made in his other establishments, and that Pasha would not be liable for any tax during the special offer. Read More…

News

Sheriff’s Deputy Arrested For Attacking Photobomber

June 13, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

KimberlyPoirierYou can’t make this stuff up.

Via The Post And Courier:

A Charleston County sheriff’s deputy was arrested after police said she kneed a man in the groin for jumping into photos at a party.

Deputy Kimberly Poirier, 47, is charged with third-degree assault and battery.

…

Police said a group of women were taking photos at the end of the dock near 2300 Tall Sail Drive when a man decided to “photo bomb” their pictures. Poirier, who knew the man, walked over to him and kneed him in the groin area, Francis said.

The man refused to be treated by EMS and didn’t want to go to a hospital, Francis said. Read More…

 

News

Bikini Wearing Grandma Busted For DUI

April 22, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments
PatriciaEbel

Patricia Ebel, 49, of Naples, Fla., has been charged with drunken driving and having a minor in the car.

I bet she’s going to be a hit at the AA meeting’s she’ll be forced to attend.

Via the NY Daily News:

A grandmother wearing only an itsy-bitsy bikini was arrested for alleged drunken driving after she plowed into the back of a stopped car with her 10-year-old grandson in her vehicle, police said.

Patricia Ebel, 49, failed several field sobriety tests by the side of a Naples, Fla., road and was arrested at the scene, Collier County Sheriff’s deputies said, according to WINK-TV.

Her black BMW appeared to be totaled after she slammed into the rear of a car stopped at a traffic light. News footage shows the blond-haired woman in a stripped two-piece attempting to stand on one foot as deputies put her through the paces of sobriety tests. Read More…

I bet you she’s crazy fun.

News, Politics

New York Welfare Money Spent On Strippers & Booze

April 19, 2015by JoecephusNo Comments

ebt1I suppose it all goes to supporting single mom’s in the end, doesn’t it?

Via The NY Post:

Welfare recipients swiped their electronic benefits cards to get cash at strip clubs, peep shows, porn shops and liquor stores for months after a state law was enacted to stop the practice.

A Post review of state Electronic Benefit Transfer records showed dozens of transactions at ATMs at the off-limits locales, including ABC Liquor Store in Brooklyn, Sin City Entertainment in The Bronx and Sugardaddy’s strip club in Long Island City.

The records were obtained under the Freedom of Information Law by The Post, which in 2013 uncovered numerous instances in which welfare recipients used EBT cards to get cash from ATMs at bars, porn shops and liquor stores.

In 2014, the state spent $2.2 billion in tax money on its Temporary Assistance program, which is intended to pay for housing, utilities and household necessities. Read More…

Yet dumb ass bleeding heart progressives get all angry when anyone wants to scale back welfare.

News, Politics

Epic Obituary

April 18, 2015by Joecephus1 Comment

LarryDarrellUprightI didn’t know this man, but I have a feeling that it is pretty safe to say that had I known him, I would have liked him a lot.

Via WGCL:

CABARRUS COUNTY, NC (WBTV) – A Cabarrus County man’s last wishes point to the political future in the United States. And he doesn’t want another Clinton as president.

Larry Darrell Upright, 81, passed away Monday, at the hospital. His obituary lists his accomplishments, work history and clubs he took part in throughout his life.

Upright’s “greatest joy was his family and he will forever be remembered as a loving husband, father, and Granddaddy,” the obituary states.

“In lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to Shriners Hospital for Children,” the obituary continues. “Also, the family respectfully asks that you do not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016. R.I.P. Granddaddy.” Read More…

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