Who would have thought that burritos were such a dangerous weapon?

This past Tuesday, Sheriff’s Deputies in Okaloosa County Florida responded to a home, where they found Suzanne Hulvert, 51, with a fork stuck in her hand. She received the stabbing, in retaliation for hitting her husband, Carl Smith, 66, in the head with her half eaten Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell.


Suzanne Hurlvert and Carl Smith

Via The Smoking Gun:

Hurlvert, cops noted, had a fork protruding from her right hand, but was still “relatively calm and in good spirits.” Hurlvert told investigators that she and Smith had argued about his drinking, and that the dispute turned physical.

As the couple quarreled, Hurlvert allegedly hit Smith in the back of the head with the Taco Bell burrito. Cops noted that burrito remnants were “located on the floor, scattered on the sofa, and on a lamp shade.”

Smith, who was arrested at a nearby bar, and Hurlvert were each charged with felony battery counts. They are both free on $1000 bond, according to jail records. Read More…

Is it any wonder Donald Trump won the Florida GOP primary? The State is filled with a bunch of fucking idiots.