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Joecephus.com - Random musings from the land of the burning river.
  • Home
  • About
    • Comment Policy
  • General
    • News
    • World
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    • The Joecephus Daily
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News, WTF?

Missing Obama Found…

August 21, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

… No, surprisingly enough, the missing POTUS was not found on a golf course. As a matter of fact, unfortunately it was not the real dear leader that had gone missing recently, but a statue of him.

Tiffany Bruce of Wilkes-Barre, PA spent months saving up the $1249 needed to purchase a life sized replica of President Barack Obama.

missingObamaStatueFound

Fake Obama working about as hard as the real version.

In the time that she has had the icon of the false idol, she and her family had dressed it up for Halloween as well as as Santa Clause for Christmas. Earlier this week Bruce had found that the statue was missing from its normal position on a bench on her front porch.

Via PA Homepage:

Wilkes-Barre police say a fisherman found the statue in Francis E. Walter Dam in White Haven Thursday morning.

He notified police and Wilkes-Barre D-P-W workers are in the process of returning the statue.

Bill Phillips couldn’t believe his eyes Thursday morning when he saw President Obama at Francis E. Walter dam in White Haven.

“I just happen to glance down at the picnic table down here and I was like no it really isn’t . so I came down and drove around up next to it and looked at it and just bursts out laughing.”

Of course it wasn’t the Commander in Chief himself …but a life size statue of President Obama.

After seeing news reports he knew it was the statue stolen from a Wilkes-Barre woman’s porch earlier this week so he called authorities.

Phillips called police..meanwhile … snapped his first selfie with the president and a few more. Read More…

I say we replace this Obama with the one in the Oval Office, won’t see much of a difference.

Culture, News

The Meta Mugshot

August 21, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

It seems that 19-year-old Bobby Burt, who apparently won the name lottery at birth, has one heck of a sense of humor. The frequently arrested teen picked a very interesting choice of clothing to wear to take the booking photo for his recent 48-hour sentence for drunk driving — a shirt emblazoned with a picture of his most recent mugshot.

Bobby Burt, 19, Pittsfield, MA, had the mug shot from his June arrest printed on the orange shirt, along with the words, "Sponsored by Bud Light and Somerset County Sheriff."

Bobby Burt, 19, Pittsfield, MA, had the mug shot from his June arrest printed on the orange shirt, along with the words, “Sponsored by Bud Light and Somerset County Sheriff.”

Via The Smoking Gun:

After copping a drunk driving plea, Burt was ordered to spend two days in custody, beginning August 8 at 6 PM. “Going to do my 48 hours whoo,” Burt announced on Facebook two hours before surrendering.

When he later arrived at the jail, Burt was searched, directed to pose for a mug shot, and shown to a cell. He was especially prepared for the booking photo session.

As seen in the above mug shot, a coworker of Burt’s at a Pittsfield restaurant created a shirt with a reproduction of the booking photo taken following his mid-June arrest. The t-shirt photo was captioned “Burt Family Reunion 8/8-8/10/2014” and “sponsored by Bud Light and Somerset County Sheriff.”

Beneath Burt’s mug shot was a second image showing a cat sitting on a couch flanked by a TV remote and a bottle of Bud Light. The cat photo, sadly, was too far down the shirt to be captured by the jail’s mug shot camera.

Burt, who happily wore the orange shirt for his jail photo, subsequently wrote on Facebook that corrections officers made him hold the slate in a way “so you could see the shirt.” He added, “They laughed there asses off haha.” The shirt’s mention of a family reunion is an apparent reference to an incarcerated Burt relative. Read More…

I won’t be impressed until he wears a t-shirt of himself wearing a t-shirt of himself wearing a t-shirt of himself.

Civil Liberties, News, Politics

Atheists Claim Arkansas Pizza Parlor Discriminates Against Non-Believers

August 21, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

I’m more & more convinced each day that the vast-majority of vocal atheists aren’t even really devout in their lack of faith — they’re just a bunch of malcontents and assholes who enjoy stirring up trouble. Sort of like the scumbag ass-hat’s who are harassing a small-business owner in Arkansas.

On July 19th, Steven Rose, the owner of Bailey’s Pizza in Searcy, Arkansas, posted a pictuire of the sign outside his business on the restaurant’s Facebook page on. It was a promotion depicting a 10% discount for anyone coming in with a church bulletin. A few days later the post received a comment from “Bong Hits for Jesus” that read, “Good luck on your discrimination lawsuit.”

BaileysPizzaFacebookAd

A few days after that Rose received a letter from the douchebags at the Freedom From Religion Foundation, postdated July 30th, the same date of the “Bong Hits for Jesus” post. The atheist nut-jobs called the promotion a violation of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

Via KTHV:

Rose does not agree. “It has nothing to do with excluding anybody,” said Rose. “It’s not specific to any church. It’s another way to bring people in and make them feel welcome.”

Rose opened his pizza buffet style pizza joint back in July. His restaurant has a wall allowing customers to write bible verses and scriptures.

In the center of the wall, it reads,

“God is the center of our lives, so our scripture wall is the center of Bailey’s Pizza.”

Rose received a letter from the national organization the first week of August. “It says that because I give a ten percent discount to people who go to church on Sundays, I’m discriminating against those who don’t go to church.” Read More…

What’s next? How about we sue car insurance companies that give a good grades discount to student drivers, that’s discriminating against those with learning disabilities. While we’re at it we should also sue anyone giving discounts to people with College I.D.’s, that’s discriminating againt people who can’t afford higher education. We should also sue anyone that makes people clip a coupon, that’s discriminating against those who don’t get the Sunday paper delivered.

Hey atheists, there is a simple solution if you don’t support this small-business owners right to run his business the way he see’s fit — don’t spend your money there jackasses!

In a free society people (small-business owners included) should be allowed to live their lives as they choose and run their businesses as they see fit.

Culture, WTF?

Stoner Arrested For Pot Possesion

August 21, 2014by JoecephusNo Comments

Talk about a fitting name.

Paul ScottStoner

Paul Scott Stoner, 42, of Unionville, VA arrested and charged with growing marijuana.

Via WISTV:

ORANGE, Va. (AP) – A Virginia man with the last name Stoner is facing drug charges after police found more than $10,000 worth of marijuana plants at his home.

The Orange County Sheriff’s Office says 42-year-old Paul Scott Stoner of Unionville is charged with growing marijuana and having a firearm while in possession of more than a pound of marijuana.

Media outlets report that the charges stem from an ongoing investigation related to the alleged sale of marijuana to children in Orange County. Further charges are pending. Read More…

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