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Joecephus.com - Random musings from the land of the burning river.
  • Home
  • About
    • Comment Policy
  • General
    • News
    • World
    • Science/Tech
    • Economics
    • Sports
    • The Joecephus Daily
  • Music
    • Album Reviews
    • Liberty Songs
  • Beer
    • The Weekly Pour
  • Cigar Reviews
  • WTF?
  • Politics
    • Civil Liberties
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WTF?

Grandpa Chokes To Death, Hours Before Trying To Get It Up.

December 14, 2013by JoecephusNo Comments

You can’t make this stuff up.

Ed Orris, 49 was feeling pretty bad for his 86-year-old grandpa Johnny who hadn’t gotten laid in over a decade since his wife had passed away. So Ed did what any loving grandson would do for their dear old grand-pappy take him on the Howard Stern Show and enter him in the “I Want To Get My Grandpa Laid” contest.

The elder Mr. Orris won the contest and the two were whisked off to Sin City, NV where gramps picked out a buxom blonde and a curvacious brunette. Everything was all set for gramps to get a little ménage à trois action, first he decided to go grab a nice steak before he did the dirty.

grandpa-dies-before-bunny-ranch

Johnny Orris (bottom right) and his grandson Ed (top right) appeared on the Howard Stern Show in October

Via The Daily Mail:

Orris and his grandson Ed, 49, were dining at the Sage Room Steakhouse at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe when Orris began choking on his meal, said Bunny ranch owner Dennis Hof to the Daily News.

Ed and the maitre’d performed CPR. Orris was later taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead.

Prostitutes Caressa Kisses and Vanity were heartbroken upon hearing the news that the gentleman they’d corresponded with almost every day since October choked just moments before they were able to give him the night of his life.

‘I’m gonna be back here at 9-o’clock–you’d better be ready!,’ Orris told the girls.

‘He was on cloud nine, and anxious to get back to the Bunny Ranch,’ said his grandson Ed.

It turns out that Ed was so distraught at the death of dear-old grand pappy that he felt it would just be down right immoral to leave the Bunny Ranch without a taste of what his dead grandpa had missed out on. Dennis Hof, the owner of the Bunny Ranch agreed and let Ed use his dead granddad’s coupon for a “free night of fun.”

dead-grandpa-bunny-ranch-girls

The two working girls Caressa Kisses and Vanity, that Johnny Orris, 86, missed out on.

Out of respect, Ed did’t knock boots with either of the two girls that grand-pappy missed out on as “…that would have been weird.”

General

sseltniop ,pey

December 14, 2013by JoecephusNo Comments

saw this at Raised Right on Tumblr.

Ifyoucanread

 

Culture

Kanye West Wants To Be “The Obama Of Clothing”

December 14, 2013by JoecephusNo Comments

Leno-Kanye-Obama

Science/Tech

The Health Insurance Robocall That Denies Its A Robot

December 14, 2013by JoecephusNo Comments

Pretty soon people are going to be obsolete.

Via Time:

The phone call came from a charming woman with a bright, engaging voice to the cell phone of a TIME Washington Bureau Chief Michael Scherer. She wanted to offer a deal on health insurance, but something was fishy.

When Scherer asked point blank if she was a real person, or a computer-operated robot voice, she replied enthusiastically that she was real, with a charming laugh. But then she failed several other tests. When asked “What vegetable is found in tomato soup?” she said she did not understand the question. When asked multiple times what day of the week it was yesterday, she complained repeatedly of a bad connection.


Hat Tip: BigFurHat @ IOwnTheWorld.com

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